Eating Disorders and Negative Thoughts

I am writing this to share my experience because I don't think I am alone, and it is something that I am still dealing with! Here I sit, watching Biggest Loser. Eight and a half months pregnant...huge for a reason:)... and yet when I watch them weigh in and say how they feel, I feel like I am one of them. I feel larger than the rest, like I stick out, and very conspicuous in a group if that makes sense! To give a back ground- before my pregnancy I was a normal weight. To be honest- I started my pregnancy up 10 lbs from my normal weight which was 150- which is healthy for my height- 5'7". In jr. high and high school, I dealt with anorexia. Not to an extreme of being hospitalized, but it started in 7th grade and I lost 30 lbs. Like I said, when I sat with a group of kids I felt like a giant huge person filling the hall way. When in fact at that time I was a size 7!!!
I guess why I think sharing this is valid, is because even though I received help- and really felt I over came this- no matter what I do sometimes these thoughts and feelings still overwhelm me. I can go from a positive plan/program and feeling like I can do it! to so so negative and desperate! I have had one time that I really felt success and strong in this area. When I did Body For Life For Women. It was 3 1/2 years ago, I lost 30 lbs in 2 1/2 months and felt amazing! This program really works and is normal healthy eating with an exercise plan that is not too hard. The book was key to my motivation.
Tell me what you do when negative thoughts and desperate moments come to you! Like I said, mostly I am ok, but honestly these thoughts still come regularly. I hope everyone has the success they are seeking from this!