I need to figure out a way w/o the crutch!!!

Shelley....thanks so much for sharing this story with us. It made me realize that I'm not alone. When I was 18-27 yrs old....I had a different "form" of anorexia.....I was addicted to Diet Drugs. In high school, I weighed about 140 which is normal for someone that is 5'7.....but all my friends were tiny...so I turned to diet drugs to lose weight. I took way too many & almost passed out a few times....I wouldn't eat much either. I got down to 110 lbs & looked horrible. At the time, I thought I looked great, but looking back now...I see how horrible I looked. When I was 26, they banned these diet drugs from the market because people were having heart attacks & dying. I was devastated w/o my diet drugs. I tried a bunch of other stuff I found in the grocery store & it didn't work & I started gaining weight back. That was my crutch...I couldn't lose weight on my own....I needed that crutch!!! Now I'm all grown-up with kids....I just can't seem to get down to the weight I want. I always have that crutch in the back of my mind & wish I could have it back. I'm afraid to say it, but if those diet drugs came back on the market, I'm positive I would buy them again! Crazy, I know! I have been trying so hard for 10 years to get back on track with my weight & feel good about myself again. I need to find a new crutch....something healthy or just find the courage to achieve my goals w/o the stupid crutch!!!! I am so happy that all of you are willing to contribute to this blog & help me with this battle. THANK YOU SO MUCH! This means so much to me! :0)